Yesterday was referral day for my sweet Jaren Mikiyas Yared. I didn't realize how it would still affect me, and to be honest, it sort of snuck up on me. August was a crazy month and September started with a Elly's birthday. Then I sort of forgot about it. Until yesterday, when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This past week was stressful for a number of reasons and that didn't help any. It's hard for me to admit that I am still grieving. How can I be grieving, almost a year later, a child I never knew, never touched, never held? I don't know. I just am.
I believe God is good and I know that He had a plan in all of this. I don't doubt that at all, and when I look into the sienna colored eyes of my new son, I know that His plan is unfolding before me. But still, my heart aches for my other son. To be quite honest, I want to love them both.
My soul finds rest in God alone. "Esias" is Isaiah in Greek...and I love that because Isaiah is my favorite book, and probably the book where I find the most comfort from the Lord. This one sticks out at me today.
Isaiah 66:13
As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.
2 comments:
Oh, how I wish I could be there! Continue to cling to Him who can give you rest and comfort. I love you, Kim
you grieve still because he was/is your son- it's ok to grieve one year later- i still grieve 3 years later! i understand your heart sister!
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