Snowed In!

We are so snowed in we have not left my parents' farmhouse since Wednesday night! Wednesday and Thursday it was ice, and Friday and today it's snow! My dad is out there with his diesel tractor trying to dig us out enough to be able to get to the highway (which seems to be clear, there is normal traffic flow). We just can't get out of the driveway! He's been out there for hours already! Lucky the temp is warm enough the diesel started.

The kids had a great Christmas day. Eden got rollerblades and a Leapster and Elly got a princess dress and a dollhouse. We all had a wonderful time but now are starting to drive each other batty because we've been in each other's business for four days! :)

We are waiting to go to Dan's side--as soon as we can get out the driveway!

Merry Christmas!

Esias first Christmas with us! It's a joyous occasion! Last year on this day, we were waiting for news on our FIRST court date (Christmas Eve 2008). All that seems so far away now and we can't be more in love with our new son! He is simply amazing, strong, and wonderful. I know I say that all the time. It's because it's true!

The girls have made a fantastic transition into big-sisterhood. I knew Eden would be awesome but Elly has really stepped up and become a great big sissy too. Today while Dan and I were in the bedroom at my parents', Elly saved Esias from diving into the toilet--we were totally oblivious to the whole thing! I am proud of her as she shifts from being jealous of the time we spend with E to being excited to see him do new things. Both the girls encourage him in all his new milestones.

The weather here is terrible and I am glad we are in safe and sound. The thought of getting stranded at our house was making me crazy--I am always stranded there, so that did not sound fun to me :) Well, we have two little boys left to go to sleep before we can work out magic!

Merry Christmas to all and to al a goodnight!

THIS IS AWESOME! Anyone want to join us?

What I Learned in 2009

This year was quite a year for us! I wanted to run down what I've learned this year.

1. God's sovereignty. He truly is in control, no matter how I fuss, fight, or complain. His will is best for me.

2. Going to Ethiopia was an amazing life changing thing! I will go back!

3. You can truly, deeply love someone who has no genetic connection to you whatsoever. Adoption is a miracle and was God's creation.

4. Ten years of marriage is an amazing gift. I am blessed each day to be married to my husband. He continues to grow as the leader of our family and amazes me with his dedication to the plight of orphans in Ethiopia and around the world.

5. I was so blessed to be able to carry two beautiful girls in my womb and to deliver them safely into this world. Now that that option is closed for us (besides some miracle of God) I feel even more grateful that I got to do that. And I also know that our family may or MAY NOT be complete, depending on God's will for us and if he would have us travel back to Africa. Time will tell, but we are not making plans (see lesson #1)!

6. Grandparents are a special blessing. This year, I watched my two grandfathers turn 80 years old, and one set of grandparents celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. What an amazing blessing to have all four grandparents still living and married to each other! I am humbled by their servant-hearted lives and their desire to live in faithfulness to each other. Love you!

7. It is harder to watch your family go through trials than it is to actual go through them youself. Multiple Sclerosis became the source of lots of tears for me, despite the fact that it's my sister who has it! I love her dearly and would love to just take it away. Again, see lesson #1. Thanks God, for putting her 100 yards away from Esais' room when we were both in the hospital at the same time! I needed that.

8. People are generous beyond your wildest imagination! We raised $4000 at our adoption party, found $1000 in our mailbox, and were given over $5000 from grants, and $900 from some great friends of ours for our adoption. We are so thankful for that. We also gathered over 100 pairs of shoes and lots of kids' clothing and supplies to take with us to Ethiopia! We are so grateful for your help!

9. It's ok to hurt over the fact that your child has special needs. But that doesn't mean that you should stop there. Esias is resilient, strong, beautiful, and full of life! Even with extra challenges, I can see how God is using him and making him into the person he was created to be. And using Esias to do those things in my life too!

10. I really like myself and need to carve out a little more time to be the me I was before I was mom. I have great friends, a sense of humor, a passion for art, and something to offer the world. Whether a size 4 or 14, I'm me. And I like me just the way I am :)

Today, I've been cleaning out the pantry and decided to make some treats by dipping random stuff in chocolate almond bark. As I was dipping Multi-grain Cheerios and placing them on foil to dry, Elly said to me, "Gross! Those look like poop..." She pauses, as if she realizes that was rude, and then says, "I mean, llama poop."

A Healthy Attachment

I found this article to be easy and practical. Just thought I would post it here for my fellow adoptive mommies and daddies.

Elly's Preschool Program

Elly's class had its annual Christmas program this week. She did great, and so did all the other kids. It was so fun to watch. She loves singing and has been practicing these songs at home daily! My favorite line: "ha-lay-loo-lah Jesus was born today!"

6 month post placement

The house is clean, Zi is asleep, and I'm waiting on Dan to get home for lunch. Today is our SIX month post placement visit! Even though we passed that mark a couple weeks ago, we had issues arranging a time. So it's today! Since last visit, E has had another surgery and all these feeding issues have been diagnosed, so this is going to be an interesting one. I was nervous about having picture of him with his tube (we have to provide pics to send back to Ethiopia) but the SW said that they will want to see it. The G-tube is hardly noticeable but some of the pics I have are with the nasty NG. I don't miss that gnarly thing! Good riddance. Esias is doing well. We think he may have an ear infection but I am not sure. He is super fussy but other than that, no fever or anything. He is sleeping ok, not horrible but not like his usual either. We shall see what the doctor says today at 2:20pm. I hate taking him in for regular things like this, the poor kid can't stay out of the office for more than a week!

Christmas Cookies!

We always make cookies with the girls for Christmas. This year it worked out well because the day Eden got her lip worked on, I let her stay home (since she had stitches and all) but since she was feeling decent, we had a nice cookie-making time together. Dan was also home that afternoon so he got in on the fun as well. Later, we had the neighbor kids over so that is the last pic with Esias- Max is 11 months old and a big guy. Esias is catching him though. They were exchanging tips-- Esias was teaching Max how much fun it is to walk by yourself, and Max was teaching E that saying words like "mama" and "icky" are cool. They also kissed each other. A lot.

I think these pictures speak for themselves.

Tuffy Stanton, er, Grimes.

Eden had a lesion on her lip- it started as just a little bubble, no big deal. But a combination of her biting on it and that she's our child, so nothing can happen normally, resulted in her having to have it excised at the ENT. The doctor put a shot of lidocaine in it- he called the needle the world's smallest needle, so she wasn't scared! And then he carefully cut it out. He was it was a salivary cyst- totally benign, so that's good. She did awesome! I had all three kids there but it went fine. Eden was super tough, like her great-grandpa (the Golden Gloves boxer Tuffy Stanton).

Six Months Home!

Meeting Esias for the first time in Addis Ababa on June 6, 2009.

Esias Tesfaye has been with us for SIX months now! Little by little, we have learned each other and become parent and child. I am realizing now that the first few months were sort of a honeymoon period- where he was very happy and rarely got upset. Now, we have a kid with a whole range of emotions and feels free to use them when he wants! Though this makes my job harder, I realize that this is healthy and it means he is trusting us enough to be himself. That's a good thing! All these hospitalizations have challenged our bonding, as well as having to withhold things like bottles and food, but I have faith that God is in control and that Esias knows we are loving him even if he doesn't understand everything we do.

I can't believe that there was a time when he wasn't in our lives. I vaguely remember the heartache that accompanied every failed court attempt, every call with bad news. It's like the 9-month long nausea that I had with the girls: as soon as they are in your arms, you don't even remember feeling horrid for that long.

So, here is how far he's come physically:

June 6, 2009- Esias was barely able to keep his head up, he could push up on his elbows and scoot, drank a bottle, woke in the night to eat, weighed 14 lbs, didn't cry or laugh, barely had one tooth poking through

December 6, 2009- Esias is WALKING, sitting, standing, crawling, pushing toys around, bending over to pick up toys, putting things in a container, taking things out of a container. He babbles mmm, guh, buh, ma, puh, kih, uses sign language, eats solid foods, laughs at silly things, backs into our laps to have a book read to him, hands us toys, takes all of his clothes out of his drawers, takes one nap a day, sleeps all night in his crib, knows how to take his feeding tube out of the adapter when he wakes up in the morning (so his milk will go all over his crib!), raids the tupperware cupboard, helps me get his arms in his sleeves, lays still for a diaper change (mostly), and loves the Ellen Degeneres show, oh and has EIGHT teeth that he likes to use for biting. Ouch. Four rounds of anesthesia, two surgeries, two swallow studies, too many chest x-rays to count... five hospital stays in six months! Baby boy, you've been through the wringer!

Esias' first birthday celebrated just 17 days after coming to live with us.

July, 2009 - roadtriping to meet the extended family

Loving bathtime in August- this is the month he had surgery to repair part of his obstructed airway.

Playing with dolls in September...

Daddy and E-man in October

During the dreaded NG tube phase in November!

New G-tube dude, waking up from his nap in his comfy crib.

We are so blessed to have this precious child as ours. He is amazing, resilient, energetic, beautiful, strong, and of course, a genius. I love you Esias!

Esias wants to go to the Orange Bowl.

Sunny warm weather sounds pretty good right about now...especially to this guy! Esias loves football!

Darn Kids Anyway!

Yesterday was one of those hellacious days. It started out well enough...we dropped Eden off at school and I had a last minute idea to run to Fareway before going home in anticipation of the big storm. That went off without a hitch, minus the mid-trip run to the stockroom toilet (Elly). So then we went home to put away groceries and get ready for our weekly visiting nurse appointment. Esias decided to poop a giant blow out while I was cleaning. No big deal, that's par for the course, right? Well, of course this is a cloth diaper and it's all out his leg and down his back. So he gets thrown in the bath but refuses to sit down (not sure) but I get him clean and safely out. I oil him up but stupidly (will I ever learn?) don't dress in, worrying more about the nasty diaper that sits on his changing table. I take that in the bathroom and begin rinsing it out, when suddenly I feel a warm sensation on my foot. Esias decided to pee on me and all over the bathroom rug. While all this is happening, the phone keeps ringing (the RN was late) which adds to the chaotic atmosphere. Finally, I get the stuff cleaned up, Esias dressed, and the nurse shows up right at that moment. Phew. That's all the chaos for the day, right? Read on...

After lunch, we had an appointment for Eden to get a lip ulcer checked out. Being the two-birds-with-one-stone type, I also scheduled the kids' shots for that same time, even though I knew I would be alone with the three kids and against my better judgement (seeing a pattern here?). The check up went fine, she needs to see the ENT. Fine. Then come the shots. Eden took them well, she got the FluMist for H1N1 and then had to have one shot for seasonal flu. She didn't cry one bit! Way to go. Then, I turn to Elly whose face is just crumpled up in fear. She is yelling "I don't want a shot! I don't want a shot!" at the top of her lungs. I pick her up, not an easy feat, and place her on the table. The nurse tries to hold her legs down while I hold her hands and upper body. She kicked and screamed and fought and kicked some more...eventually we got the shots done and she was SO livid and raging mad that she cried until she....you guessed it...threw up. So, the nurse grabs the trash can and throws it over to us, then directly turns around and begins gagging herself. So here I am trying to hold Elly's hair back and keep Esias out of the puke, while the nurse is over in the corner gagging. Eden is hiding behind the curtain talking nonstop because that is what she does when she is nervous. Finally, El is done and we get Esias' shots with just minimal crying. At this point, I am completely undone myself. I am annoyed at my kid who can't just sit still through a shot and at the nurse who can't handle a little vomit. For pete's sake. We drive home mostly silently, except for Elly saying, "I feel much more better now."

The day ended with a whopper of a vertigo spell that lasted a really long time and ended with me doing some amazing gymnastics across the kitchen floor. The stress had just gotten to me that day! The best part of the day was that while I was feeling sick and nauseous after I had vertigo, Elly came and held my hand and Eden rubbed my hair. Dan made me cookies later and let me veg on the couch. Even with crazy days like this, I have the best family ever and I love every minute of it!

Tube News.

So Esias is healing quite well! He does not act like it is still sore. We haven't done Tylenol at all today. So far so good. He is eating well too- when we feed him purees, he loves it. When he is suppose to put them in his own mouth, he cries! Stinker. We also got a new tool to help him learn how to swallow better. It's called a dysphagia flexicup. It has a little cut out around his nose so he doesnt have to tip up. That way it keeps his airway closed while drinking (slurping). We still have to put the thick thick purees in the cup, but it's for learning how to swallow from a cup instead of a spoon. All in time, he will learn these things! He continues to sleep awesome and be pretty happy. He definitely cries more than he did three months ago, but he's a changing, growing boy with lots to say and do!

Esias' at the hospital

Here's our heavyweight champion of the world at the hospital. He does look a little plumpy in these pics, but in his defense, the camera adds ten pounds and he was bloated :)



We propped him up with a pillow because sitting straight and laying were not comfortable the first day out of surgery.




Here you can see the peg tube. It sticks out about 1/2 inch from the skin but can pivot around 360 degrees. It is much like a piercing hole once it's healed - you can move it around and it does not hurt. It will take at least a couple of weeks or a month to heal. In three months we can go back and get the Mic-Key button that is more flush with the skin. Let's pray he doesn't need this thing in three months!

Poor buddy's little tum. At least he only has one incision scar! That other mark on his tummy is a birthmark. He also has the cutest birthmark on his chest! I will have to post that pic later. All for now!

Playing Catch Up with Photos...

I don't miss this tube! Had to post this pic of the love/hate sibs!




We did not get a ton of great shots of the kids putting on the ornaments. Matthew (my cousin) came over and so did Brynn, Will, and Marcus (below).




Always ready with the pose.

Look at these adorable tootsies! I love it when his feet hang out of the blanket!

Eden got a new 'do and we think its so cute.



I am biased but DUDE. Adorable.

Love her hair like this!

We're Home

We are home and settled in. Esias did sleep last night in his crib- he did not want to sleep in the crib at the hospital - his incision is on his tummy and he likes to sleep on his tummy so that makes sense. But I was worried he would never want to sleep on his own- apparently not even a 1/2 inch piece of plastic sticking out from his stomach can make this guy give up his favorite sleeping position! He did good last night, only waking once when Dan had to unhook his feeding at around 4am I think.

The site is still swollen and tender but they say it will be for a while. I hope he feels better though. I think this is going to be good for him. Already yesterday he gave me more love and smiles than I got for the last two weeks total. He was NOT ok with that NG tube. Oh, and I did I mention that he's gained 3 lbs since starting the tube feeds? He had gone down to 19lbs (a slight weight loss after we found out he was aspirating- I think we were being timid with his liquids for fear of his choking) and now he is up to 22lbs! He is in the 25th percentile! WOW. He is still really short though, 5%. So now we've got our little chunker! What's funny is that these feeds are not really for his weight since he was gradually gaining before, but just to bypass his throat while it heals. So we might get this big chunky baby out of the deal anyway! The formula he uses in the tube is like double the cals of regular formula! But we're using it because it has all the nutrition he would need if he did not eat any other food orally. He is still excited about eating purees so we do that 2-3 (or 4) times a day to keep his eating skills alive. So far so good! What I think is funny is that he now recognizes the pump as food too, and asks for that as well. We say, "Do you want some food in your tubey?" He knows what we mean. It must give him a good full feeling.

So far since we've stopped the oral liquids, we've seen TONS of improvement in his speech development- he is babbling lots more and saying consonants randomly. He even is making strings of jibberish that are somewhat sentence-sounding. In fact the other night, Dan was putting him down to bed and Esias was not pleased about it. When I got home from my errands, Dan said, "I swear Esias cursed me out in Amharic tonight!" I bet he did!

Esias is out of surgery, the peg tube is placed and all is well. He is in 3 JCP and tolerating the pain/coming out of anesthesia well. He even wanted me for a second today :) All is good. Thanks for the prayers and thoughts.

So. Much. Fun.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to the wonderful group of ladies who invited me out last night- Amanda, Jamie, Sara, Shari, Andrea, Emily, and Carrie...that was so much fun and my heart needed that! I know the party was technically for Em, but I felt so much blessing just some grown up time without tubes and tantrums! Thanks, Ladies! Emily Malone, you should come back from Scotland more often!

Sequence of Events.

While putting away laundry, I noticed a pile of hand-wash clothing that I had yet to wash. I took them downstairs intending to wash them in the tub. I noticed the drain plug was not sticking when I pushed it down, so I called for Dan. He pushed it in with his foot and POP. Broke it. So while he goes about fixing that, I helped the girls put away toys in the playroom. All the sudden I hear a whoooshing noise really loud in the laundry room. I walk in to find the washing machine spraying water in all directions from it's hose. Water had just started to creep across the floor and I yelled for Dan to come. Well to be honest I yelled, "DAN DAN DAN!!! SOMETHING WENT WRONG HERE!!!!!!" He was right beside the playroom in the bathroom (fixing the drain) and came right away and shut the water off at the source (which I can't reach). So, the good news is that we were all downstairs when that happened! Many times we start the laundry and go upstairs- we probably would not have heard that! And the bad news is that now we have the drain and the laundry hose to fix! But Dan is handy...I am thankful for that. All because I wanted to handwash the girls' Ethiopian dresses!

Esias' First Picture

This picture of E was taken when he was 1 month 15 days old, I believe. I think this is the first picture of him, ever. It is the picture that is on his paperwork and also in his adorable little passport. His little cheeks look windburned. What strikes me about this picture is that his eyes are still shiny and healthy looking. He had just come from the care of his birthmother, however impoverished she may have been, she was still his mother and he was nurtured by her. When he entered the institution, his eyes lost their shine. He grew weaker and weaker, and lost a little bit of himself that probably won't return. I don't blame this on his birthmother, of course. She knew he needed more than she could give him. She did what she had to do. But orphanages are no place for children. Children belong with families. Period. I think that is why Yezelalem Minch struck a chord with us. They help to keep children with extended families, neighbors, or friends and when that is not possible, they live in family groups of 7 or so children with a house mother or two. This is a much better scenario than an orphanage! The people at Gelgela tried very hard and did their best to care for Esias, but the orphanage model is just not healthy for children. This is my opinion but I really believe it in my heart. I think that had Esias been in a foster or group home situation, many of his health problems would have been avoided. The reality is that foster homes are just not an option in Ethiopia. And, frankly, adoption is not the answer either. The Church needs to rise up and take care of this at the root. Jesus cared for the poor, fed the hungry, and gave the thirsty a drink. Where are we? Why are there still millions of orphans in Ethiopia alone?

Gag Alert.

The other day, with all three kids plus Marcus loaded in the car, Dan and I snuck some kisses in at a stoplight. We realized that Elly was looking at us, and I said, "Oh sorry you had to see that Elly," jokingly. Elly said, "I think it's beautiful!" She is such a sweetheart!

A Few Pics...

Fun with deer bones, thanks to Papa...




Big boy in big boy jammies!

Elly with her pet spider. I made her take him outside!

Esias riding the pony at Menards

Dan giving me the thumbs up because our idea worked-- hanging E's food bag in the car while it pumps food to him- so we don't have to chase him all the time.

Esias enjoying the fruit of Elly's Thanksgiving craft.