As I was praying with the girls tonight, this was Elly's prayer:
"Lord, oh Lord...Happy Birthday to Jaren tomorrow. Can we set some cake on the ground and you give it to him? Can you? Can you see how he digest-es-es? Can you?"
Not sure what the Lord, oh Lord part was, but it cracked me up.
Showing posts with label Jaren. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jaren. Show all posts
23 May 2011
05 September 2009
Yesterday
I have been avoiding this topic, but it is cathartic for me to write and express my feelings so I am going to go ahead and do it. Sorry you guys have to be subjected to it, but I might feel better!
Yesterday was referral day for my sweet Jaren Mikiyas Yared. I didn't realize how it would still affect me, and to be honest, it sort of snuck up on me. August was a crazy month and September started with a Elly's birthday. Then I sort of forgot about it. Until yesterday, when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This past week was stressful for a number of reasons and that didn't help any. It's hard for me to admit that I am still grieving. How can I be grieving, almost a year later, a child I never knew, never touched, never held? I don't know. I just am.
I believe God is good and I know that He had a plan in all of this. I don't doubt that at all, and when I look into the sienna colored eyes of my new son, I know that His plan is unfolding before me. But still, my heart aches for my other son. To be quite honest, I want to love them both.
My soul finds rest in God alone. "Esias" is Isaiah in Greek...and I love that because Isaiah is my favorite book, and probably the book where I find the most comfort from the Lord. This one sticks out at me today.
Yesterday was referral day for my sweet Jaren Mikiyas Yared. I didn't realize how it would still affect me, and to be honest, it sort of snuck up on me. August was a crazy month and September started with a Elly's birthday. Then I sort of forgot about it. Until yesterday, when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This past week was stressful for a number of reasons and that didn't help any. It's hard for me to admit that I am still grieving. How can I be grieving, almost a year later, a child I never knew, never touched, never held? I don't know. I just am.
I believe God is good and I know that He had a plan in all of this. I don't doubt that at all, and when I look into the sienna colored eyes of my new son, I know that His plan is unfolding before me. But still, my heart aches for my other son. To be quite honest, I want to love them both.
My soul finds rest in God alone. "Esias" is Isaiah in Greek...and I love that because Isaiah is my favorite book, and probably the book where I find the most comfort from the Lord. This one sticks out at me today.
Isaiah 66:13
As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.
13 May 2009
Getting Ready! Long post- Info on donations in red
Today I was majorly nesting: organizing the laundry room, pulling out the high chair from storage and hosing it down in the shower :), bringing out the brand new Britax carseat (that I got for $60 no joke) for Dan to install this weekend, delivering three tubs of stuff to Goodwill and one bag to the consignment store. Ahh. Feels good!
Esias’ room is still full of stuff to donate while we are there. We are planning on taking as much as we can fit. There is a formula shortage in Ethiopia right now, so we are packing as much of that as we can. Babies there are being fed unpasteurized milk as a result of the shortage, and that is causing upset stomach. So far, I have about 4 cans to take (besides the can I plan to use for Esias while there). We also have:
-100 or so pairs of Crocs or other shoes
-approx. 20-30 items of kid’s clothing
-several items of baby clothing
-pencils, notebooks for the older kids
-Beautiful Feet CDs (oh yeah baby)
-a couple of inflatable beach balls to play with the big kids
-two infant crib mobiles (anything for a little stimulation!)
-40 cloth diapers (Chinese prefold type)
-infant toys for the transition home and Gelgela
I am sure there is more stuff too, I just can’t remember it right now! A couple of people donated money for extra baggage costs. It looks like we won’t be needing that, so I will use that money to buy extra formula or supplies while we are in country. If you would like to donate, just email me or leave a comment. Typically, families who go to pick up their children leave some sort of monetary gift or purchase an item while there. One family supplied a washer and dryer, while another recently bought a bike for the nannies to use to get into town. I know the orphanages with babies could use things like swings, exersaucers, bouncy seats, or bumbo seats. I am not sure how we would pack these items (and not sure if they are available in country?) but if you have one that folds or is a “travel” version and would be willing to donate, that would be appreciated. That way the kids can get out of their beds and work on strengthening those back and neck muscles.
As our trip draws closer, possibly even a couple of weeks away, my heart is just in a constant flutter. I have ached for this child for so long. Even during the time when we did not know who he was. And what is funny is that I did not expect that to happen. I had no question that I would take one look at him (whether in photo or in life) and be completely smitten, but I did not anticipate the aching for a child somewhere on the other side of the world not having any clue how his life was about to be turned on its side. Adoption is a miracle. Not because a child is “rescued” from a situation (I hate that word!) but because God uses it to teach us how He adopts us and loves us as His children. He yearns for us to be home with him and he waits patiently for us. Amazing!
Today was such an important day for me...it was the day where it really started to sink in that I am Esias’ mother. He will be here, and I will be the one caring for him, nurturing him, bonding with him--his momma--FOREVER. I can’t wait! And at the same time, all this excitement is coming with a bittersweetness. May 24 would be Jaren’s first birthday. I hope we are in Ethiopia over that week so we can visit his gravesite and let him know that his mommy and daddy love him and think of him all the time. Oh, sweet Jaren, how I still struggle to understand the whys of what happened. Our Father is in control, and Jaren Mikiyas understands that so clearly now. Though I never touched him, I loved him as completely as any mother could. And now, thinking of life without Esias, I can't imagine it.
Ok, getting heavy now. Gotta get ready for a date night with my sweetie. :)
Esias’ room is still full of stuff to donate while we are there. We are planning on taking as much as we can fit. There is a formula shortage in Ethiopia right now, so we are packing as much of that as we can. Babies there are being fed unpasteurized milk as a result of the shortage, and that is causing upset stomach. So far, I have about 4 cans to take (besides the can I plan to use for Esias while there). We also have:
-100 or so pairs of Crocs or other shoes
-approx. 20-30 items of kid’s clothing
-several items of baby clothing
-pencils, notebooks for the older kids
-Beautiful Feet CDs (oh yeah baby)
-a couple of inflatable beach balls to play with the big kids
-two infant crib mobiles (anything for a little stimulation!)
-40 cloth diapers (Chinese prefold type)
-infant toys for the transition home and Gelgela
I am sure there is more stuff too, I just can’t remember it right now! A couple of people donated money for extra baggage costs. It looks like we won’t be needing that, so I will use that money to buy extra formula or supplies while we are in country. If you would like to donate, just email me or leave a comment. Typically, families who go to pick up their children leave some sort of monetary gift or purchase an item while there. One family supplied a washer and dryer, while another recently bought a bike for the nannies to use to get into town. I know the orphanages with babies could use things like swings, exersaucers, bouncy seats, or bumbo seats. I am not sure how we would pack these items (and not sure if they are available in country?) but if you have one that folds or is a “travel” version and would be willing to donate, that would be appreciated. That way the kids can get out of their beds and work on strengthening those back and neck muscles.
As our trip draws closer, possibly even a couple of weeks away, my heart is just in a constant flutter. I have ached for this child for so long. Even during the time when we did not know who he was. And what is funny is that I did not expect that to happen. I had no question that I would take one look at him (whether in photo or in life) and be completely smitten, but I did not anticipate the aching for a child somewhere on the other side of the world not having any clue how his life was about to be turned on its side. Adoption is a miracle. Not because a child is “rescued” from a situation (I hate that word!) but because God uses it to teach us how He adopts us and loves us as His children. He yearns for us to be home with him and he waits patiently for us. Amazing!
Today was such an important day for me...it was the day where it really started to sink in that I am Esias’ mother. He will be here, and I will be the one caring for him, nurturing him, bonding with him--his momma--FOREVER. I can’t wait! And at the same time, all this excitement is coming with a bittersweetness. May 24 would be Jaren’s first birthday. I hope we are in Ethiopia over that week so we can visit his gravesite and let him know that his mommy and daddy love him and think of him all the time. Oh, sweet Jaren, how I still struggle to understand the whys of what happened. Our Father is in control, and Jaren Mikiyas understands that so clearly now. Though I never touched him, I loved him as completely as any mother could. And now, thinking of life without Esias, I can't imagine it.
Ok, getting heavy now. Gotta get ready for a date night with my sweetie. :)
10 October 2008
Precious Boy
Today we received some precious, precious video footage of our boy Jaren Mikiyas. It just is so sweet to see is little face light up as they talk to him. He was a very easy smiler. He kicked his little feet and waved his little hands. He had spit up running down one side of his face, like he did in one of the other pictures we got, he must've been a spitter! He just looked like a little bundle of energy. Sweet, sweet boy. I will treasure that precious video. It does my heart good to know him more, even just a little bit.
05 October 2008
Today I think I am a little numb. I guess that is normal in the stages of grief. I have been productive and ok, I am not staying in bed all day in my jammies. It helps that my family is here, and more than that, that my mom has been admitted into the hospital for a kidney infection, so of course we're all just trying to be there for her. Pray for her if you think of it, she's in a lot of pain, and it's not going away as quickly or easily as we'd hoped.
Now we are home from the hospital, the kids are in bed, and my head can slow down a bit. I feel the thing that seems so cliche- but it is true- it is a feeling of a hole, a void in the heart. I am not sure if that goes away or not. I am surprised at how many of the typical descriptions of grief are actually so right when describing it- like waves of grief- you're fine one minute talking about something, laughing maybe...then it sweeps up over you like the tide.
I am not sad that Jaren is with Jesus. That is the ultimate of ultimates. I am comforted to know that he did not die alone in his bed. That was sweet providence that God did allow him to live until morning when his caregiver could scoop him up and hurry him into the vehicle. That blessed my heart to know that she was holding him. No, I am not sad he is at the feet of Jesus. Who could be sad about that? I am just so sad, so very sad that I never picked him up under his tiny arms, held him up to my face, breathed him in deeply and told him that I loved him. I loved him. I love him.
When we were waiting for a referral, I wrote this letter to him, though I did not know yet who "he" was. I replaced "baby" with his name.
Dearest Jaren,
I can't stop thinking of you. I want to know what you look like, what you sound like, what you feel like to hold. Are you alright? I am praying that you are every night. I pray that God is making you strong both physically and emotionally, because you are going through more than most humans have to at your tender age, whatever that age is!
Eden and Elly are so excited to see you. They can't wait. I don't think they know how you will shake up their world, but we know from having Elly that it is worth it. I can't wait to see how Eden holds you and cares for you and how Elly makes you smile. They are precious sisters.
Your daddy is excited to meet you too. He wants to someday be able to share Ethiopia with you so he is planning lots of adventures while we are there to see you. He wants to take lots of pictures to show you when you are ready to learn about your birth country. But mostly, he wants to hold you and to read you stories at bedtime and give you a bubble bath.
I love you, baby. I want to be able to snuggle you. I pray I can give you what you need. I will try my best every day. See you soon baby!!
Your momma
Now we are home from the hospital, the kids are in bed, and my head can slow down a bit. I feel the thing that seems so cliche- but it is true- it is a feeling of a hole, a void in the heart. I am not sure if that goes away or not. I am surprised at how many of the typical descriptions of grief are actually so right when describing it- like waves of grief- you're fine one minute talking about something, laughing maybe...then it sweeps up over you like the tide.
I am not sad that Jaren is with Jesus. That is the ultimate of ultimates. I am comforted to know that he did not die alone in his bed. That was sweet providence that God did allow him to live until morning when his caregiver could scoop him up and hurry him into the vehicle. That blessed my heart to know that she was holding him. No, I am not sad he is at the feet of Jesus. Who could be sad about that? I am just so sad, so very sad that I never picked him up under his tiny arms, held him up to my face, breathed him in deeply and told him that I loved him. I loved him. I love him.
When we were waiting for a referral, I wrote this letter to him, though I did not know yet who "he" was. I replaced "baby" with his name.
Dearest Jaren,
I can't stop thinking of you. I want to know what you look like, what you sound like, what you feel like to hold. Are you alright? I am praying that you are every night. I pray that God is making you strong both physically and emotionally, because you are going through more than most humans have to at your tender age, whatever that age is!
Eden and Elly are so excited to see you. They can't wait. I don't think they know how you will shake up their world, but we know from having Elly that it is worth it. I can't wait to see how Eden holds you and cares for you and how Elly makes you smile. They are precious sisters.
Your daddy is excited to meet you too. He wants to someday be able to share Ethiopia with you so he is planning lots of adventures while we are there to see you. He wants to take lots of pictures to show you when you are ready to learn about your birth country. But mostly, he wants to hold you and to read you stories at bedtime and give you a bubble bath.
I love you, baby. I want to be able to snuggle you. I pray I can give you what you need. I will try my best every day. See you soon baby!!
Your momma
03 October 2008
Our Sweet Son is with Jesus.
Naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.
Job 1:21
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Hab. 3:17-18
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
2 Cor 1:3-4
Mikiyas Yared (Jaren Mikiyas) is now in glory with Jesus. He passed away Thursday on the way to the hospital. He had been ill with diarrhea. We did not know of his illness, we were just informed today that he had died.
We are in tremendous grief. But God is good. We loved Jaren. Despite the lack of legal-ness, he was our son. He is our son. We loved him just as we love Eden and Elly and the baby that I lost in between them. So the Grimes family has now four children. Two of them are in heaven with their Father who knit them, and two of them are here with us. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Grandma Dian, have fun with him. We heard he was a riot. Give him some extra kisses from his mommy.
23 September 2008
Many Meanings of Mikiyas!
Today I was online and found a site that said Mikiyas is the same as Micah. So now I am not so sure what it is! So far we've been told that it could be Michael, Malachi or Micah. Either way, I think it is a beautiful name for our beautiful child :)
21 September 2008
Sneakity Peekity
Here's a little sneak peek of our boy! He was wearing blue this time!! A cute little blue and green striped shirt over a blue jumper with a raccoon on it! SOOOO sweet. Better than the pink jammies with the strawberry, though he was rockin' that romper too. :)
20 September 2008
Yay!
Today the sweet Ten Hakens sent us new pictures of our sweetie boy Jaren M.! They just got back from picking up their daughter, Ruby, who was in the same orphanage as Jaren is. So, knowing how hard it is to wait, Kelli T. snapped some pics for us and sent them today!!!!
He is looking soooo sweet. I was afraid he'd changed a lot, but actually, he looked smaller. We got several pics with him looking right into the camera and also one of the crib where he sleeps. It is so nice to have some more pictures of him! What a precious gift. Thanks Kelli and Mark!!!!
He is looking soooo sweet. I was afraid he'd changed a lot, but actually, he looked smaller. We got several pics with him looking right into the camera and also one of the crib where he sleeps. It is so nice to have some more pictures of him! What a precious gift. Thanks Kelli and Mark!!!!
11 September 2008
Small Update and FAQs
We found out yesterday that our approval has been received in Addis (actually in Feb.) so I think that means that the Embassy has all they need to approve Jaren's Visa (except that court documents, that is). So, now we are waiting to hear when our court date is. I don't expect to hear anything until after Oct. 6th, when the courts reopen in Ethiopia. They have been closed due to the rainy season there.
We also found out yesterday that one of the SWs from Bethany IA will be traveling with us! She is a young gal, married, no kiddos, and we met her once at the informational meeting. I think I have spoken with her on the phone too. She is not our SW, but nevertheless, I think it will be fun to travel with her. I am hoping she can hold our video camera when we meet Jaren for the first time!!
So, lots of people have been asking me the same questions about what the next steps are, etc.. So I thought I would post the answers just in case you were wondering too!!
1. When do you go get him?
We are expected to travel in November. First, we must pass court. Our Bethany director in Ethiopia will go to court on our behalf and then if we pass, we will be invited to travel within a few weeks of that, barring any unforeseeable circumstances.
2. Will the girls go with you? Do you need childcare for them?
No, my parents (Grammy and Papa) will be coming up here to stay with the kids so that Eden can continue to go to school as usual. If the trip happens to coincide with Thanksgiving, we will probably have them take the kids to their house so they don't miss out on their plans. That is the same weekend as the event that my sister Tiel has been planning at our church we grew up in. It would be a shame to miss that event but I don't think I will turn down a chance to go get my son! Sorry Tiel! Hope it doesn't come at the same time, but who am I kidding? This is us.
3. Do you know what happened to Jaren's parents?
We were given a small amount of information on Jaren's first parents and why he was placed for adoption. We have chosen to keep that information private because we believe that one day he might want to know that information and he might choose not to tell others. There is nothing shameful or wrong with his story, we just want it to be his story to tell. We definitely are going to be open with him about how he came to us, don't get me wrong (I think he's gonna figure it out :), but we want him to feel like he has some ownership over his life story and not that we all know this and then one day he finds out what we have all known for years. I hope that makes sense!
4. Do you need any...
Clothes? no, I don't think so, since we just got a box of Marcus' adorable threads! Nice!
Diapers? We will be using disposables in Ethiopia, but once we are home I am planning on using cloth diapers and wipes to save some green and be a little more green. If you know of anyone selling Chinese prefold diapers (used, in good condition) and Thirsties or other brand diaper cover, please let me know! I would really like to try these first without making a big commitment money wise.
Donations for the orphanage? We are not going to take a ton of stuff, though we might take one duffle bag with small trinkets (pencils, erasers, small toys, balls, etc.) for the older kids at the orphanage and then buy some baby supplies to donate while we are in Ethiopia. If you'd like to be a part of that, let me know at grimesfam@gmail.com. We will not be taking a ton of clothes to donate, though we might take some if we can fit it in. We've been told that we are encouraged to bring money and shop for donations while we're there. If anyone has any good ideas of something we can bring as a gift to the nannies who have cared for Jaren, please let me know. I would love to give them something special but of course we have money constraints, so I'll have to be creative!
5. Is Jaren healthy?
We've been given his medical test results and he is said to be in VERY good health. Praise God! Of course, he will have his ups and downs, and he might even have undetected things, but praise God that he is growing well and looks very alert and healthy. We actually surprised at how healthy he looked in the referral photo.
6. Will you be using formula with him?
Yes, we will hopefully be able to purchase some of the brand of infant formula they are currently using with him while we are in Addis and then once home we will transition him slowly by increments to the new American formula.
Any more questions any one wants to ask? Feel free.
We also found out yesterday that one of the SWs from Bethany IA will be traveling with us! She is a young gal, married, no kiddos, and we met her once at the informational meeting. I think I have spoken with her on the phone too. She is not our SW, but nevertheless, I think it will be fun to travel with her. I am hoping she can hold our video camera when we meet Jaren for the first time!!
So, lots of people have been asking me the same questions about what the next steps are, etc.. So I thought I would post the answers just in case you were wondering too!!
1. When do you go get him?
We are expected to travel in November. First, we must pass court. Our Bethany director in Ethiopia will go to court on our behalf and then if we pass, we will be invited to travel within a few weeks of that, barring any unforeseeable circumstances.
2. Will the girls go with you? Do you need childcare for them?
No, my parents (Grammy and Papa) will be coming up here to stay with the kids so that Eden can continue to go to school as usual. If the trip happens to coincide with Thanksgiving, we will probably have them take the kids to their house so they don't miss out on their plans. That is the same weekend as the event that my sister Tiel has been planning at our church we grew up in. It would be a shame to miss that event but I don't think I will turn down a chance to go get my son! Sorry Tiel! Hope it doesn't come at the same time, but who am I kidding? This is us.
3. Do you know what happened to Jaren's parents?
We were given a small amount of information on Jaren's first parents and why he was placed for adoption. We have chosen to keep that information private because we believe that one day he might want to know that information and he might choose not to tell others. There is nothing shameful or wrong with his story, we just want it to be his story to tell. We definitely are going to be open with him about how he came to us, don't get me wrong (I think he's gonna figure it out :), but we want him to feel like he has some ownership over his life story and not that we all know this and then one day he finds out what we have all known for years. I hope that makes sense!
4. Do you need any...
Clothes? no, I don't think so, since we just got a box of Marcus' adorable threads! Nice!
Diapers? We will be using disposables in Ethiopia, but once we are home I am planning on using cloth diapers and wipes to save some green and be a little more green. If you know of anyone selling Chinese prefold diapers (used, in good condition) and Thirsties or other brand diaper cover, please let me know! I would really like to try these first without making a big commitment money wise.
Donations for the orphanage? We are not going to take a ton of stuff, though we might take one duffle bag with small trinkets (pencils, erasers, small toys, balls, etc.) for the older kids at the orphanage and then buy some baby supplies to donate while we are in Ethiopia. If you'd like to be a part of that, let me know at grimesfam@gmail.com. We will not be taking a ton of clothes to donate, though we might take some if we can fit it in. We've been told that we are encouraged to bring money and shop for donations while we're there. If anyone has any good ideas of something we can bring as a gift to the nannies who have cared for Jaren, please let me know. I would love to give them something special but of course we have money constraints, so I'll have to be creative!
5. Is Jaren healthy?
We've been given his medical test results and he is said to be in VERY good health. Praise God! Of course, he will have his ups and downs, and he might even have undetected things, but praise God that he is growing well and looks very alert and healthy. We actually surprised at how healthy he looked in the referral photo.
6. Will you be using formula with him?
Yes, we will hopefully be able to purchase some of the brand of infant formula they are currently using with him while we are in Addis and then once home we will transition him slowly by increments to the new American formula.
Any more questions any one wants to ask? Feel free.
07 September 2008
Jaren and the girls
Well, Jaren's not even an official Grimes yet and already he's the subject of some Edenisms and Ellyquent remarks.
The kids are having trouble remembering his name. When asked what his name is, they say:
Elly: Ch-ch-chicken? No, that's not it!!
Elly, later: Jofum?
Eden: Jared? AAAHH! I can't ever remember it!
When told we were repainting the nursery for Jaren:
Eden: I know! Let's paint it the colors of the Ethiopian flag!
When I told the girls that they would have to help us with the baby, and that Elly would get to bring me diapers, she said proudly, "Yes...CLOFF diapuhrs!"
The kids are having trouble remembering his name. When asked what his name is, they say:
Elly: Ch-ch-chicken? No, that's not it!!
Elly, later: Jofum?
Eden: Jared? AAAHH! I can't ever remember it!
When told we were repainting the nursery for Jaren:
Eden: I know! Let's paint it the colors of the Ethiopian flag!
When I told the girls that they would have to help us with the baby, and that Elly would get to bring me diapers, she said proudly, "Yes...CLOFF diapuhrs!"
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