T.W.A.

Sunday we had a guest artist come do his thing at church. It was the Christian Rapper (yeah, I said it) J'son. He's been to our church before, but this time it was awesome- he was accompanied by orchestra and choir and it was great. Besides the fact that many, many white folks don't know how to clap except on 1 and 3. Anyhoo...after the worship, Dan and I went out with Esias because he was squirrely and we met J'son again and his brother. The brother said to Esias, "You have a T.W.A. don't you? [turning to me] Do you know what a T.W.A. is?" I thought, "Uh oh, some reference I should probably know about..." but I answered, "No..." J'son's brother said, "Teeny weeny Afro!"

:)

Here's link to the worship segment...

Winter Wonderland...we've had enough.

These first photos were taken on New Year's Day. We had a deer in our neighborhood! Now, we used to live a couple of blocks from a field, but now it is being built on (our new school) so I am not sure what this little gal was doing wandering about...first she was in our neighbor's yard.

Which is funny becuase they are deer hunters and every fall have nasty deer carcasses hanging in their backyard...NAST. Then she headed toward our house...

She was polite and used the sidewalk...

Then she headed on down to visit the neighbors!

Ok, so now these are from today. We have not tried Esias in the snow since December and he HATED it. We thought he might like it now...well, their were mixed emotions (or like Dan and I used to joke in Yearbook Club "mixed emulsions." Hehe. We were sooo cool in Jr. High).

He liked it at first, as long as we stayed on the driveway. Don't mind the snotty crust or the hot pink mittens. That's how we roll.

Then Dan tried to put him in the snow, and it was all downhill from there (like my little Olympic joke?).

Eden did something funny here that distracted him briefly.

Back to the pavement with mommy!

And then he came inside and cried for about 15 straight minutes. Apparently, this child is not a fan of the Iowa winters.

Oh, boy.

Esias is developmentally delayed in some areas, but one area that is RIGHT ON TRACK is the fit-throwing stage! He has started to do the flop-on-the-ground-in-a-pile-of-jello type of fit. He does this when we're trying to dress him, put his coat on, or take anything out of his hand that is a no-no. Today, I put him up on the counter to put his socks on. He grabbed something off of the counter behind him. When I put him on the floor, I realized it was a thing of medicine, so I had to pry it out of his hands. He was mad at me for it and squealed at me. Then I could tell he was going to throw himself on the ground, but he decided to walk about 7 steps to the softer CARPET and then fall down in a fit. STINKER.

Ode to Thigh Rolls

I didn't know it was possible for me to get choked up about thigh rolls. Not mine, dear reader. The preciously plump rolls of my son.

Obviously, the above pics were taken in Ethiopia in June '09. Esias weighed 14lbs. The photos below were taken last night. He weighs 25 whopping pounds! I can hardly believe it. I can hardly believe we have him, after all that time we waited and thought we would never hold him. Then getting to him and realizing he was sick...so sick...and wondering if the first day with him would be our only day with him. And now to look at him, he is sooo healthy and wonderful. I just feel so humbled and grateful to God.

Sometimes, Dan and I will be watching TV after the girls are in bed, and for some reason Esias is not ready for bed yet, so he's up wandering around. And I am just struck by the craziness of it all, and I have been known to say, "Hon, I can't believe we went all the way to Africa to get him and now he's watching TV with us."




Plumpilicious!

Eden.

Oh my Eden. She's just as frustrating as she is intelligent, witty, and creative. So that's pretty frustrating! But she is amazing!

Lately, she's had her nose in a book all the time. She loves Amelia Bedelia (one of my faves too) and Cam Jansen and Junie B. Jones. (Side story, Elly calls Jimmy Johns sub place "Jimmy John Jones- after the book Skippy John Jones). Ok, back to Eden. The other day, she came home with a piece of paper from school announcing that the school was participating in a contest to get your art work displayed at a local bank. I have heard of this before, and I didn't know how hard it was to actually get chosen, so I encouraged her to work on it, but also tried to temper my enthusiasm with bits of wisdom regarding not getting one's hopes up, enjoying the process even if she doesn't win, etc. Well, my girl got right down to business that day and drew an adorable colored pencil sketch of a fox in a wildlife setting. I was actually quite impressed but thought she needed to spend more time on it (I'm the art teacher you know). But I kept my mouth shut and let her do it, since this was her idea and she wanted to enter the contest. I filled out the consent form and expected her to lose her artwork and forget to turn in the paper. Well, quite the contrary. She reminded me every day- she took the consent form and the artwork in to school and remembered to turn it in at Art time (which is at the end of the day!). This is a feat only because this is the child who has NO memory and cannot keep track of important things to save her life! I was proud of her for driving the train on this one.

So last week, she comes home bearing a letter of congrats! Her work will be shown at the bank downtown and they even have a "reception" for the artists. I have no idea how hard the contest was to get in or if they just allow everyone, but I was SO proud of her for taking charge and doing something that she wanted to accomplish. And she got to experience how good it feels to get rewarded for a job well done. Nothing better than that! Congratulations Eden, my little blooming artist.

It's Boring Around Here.

Well, it's February...I can tell by the total lack of desire I have to do ANYTHING. I get this every winter, it seems.

The kids are still hilarious, but for some reason, I can't come up with an interesting blog post to save my life!

Esias had his 18 month check up today (though he's 19.5 months old, oops) and with that came 4 shots! Yikes. I put the kids in the hallway so they would not have adverse reactions. Otherwise, he had a good visit- he's completely on the weight/height chart now...10-25% for height and 25-50% for weight. His head is 75%! Maybe that's his hair? His head used to be below the chart. Now, that's a growing noggin.

Eden also was seen for a mycoplasm- just a prolonged cough that probably turned bacterial in her lungs, maybe a sinus infection too- not sure about that one but the Zpak will do the trick either way.

That's all for now, from Borington, USA.

Healthy Attachment at 8 Months Home

Signs of Healthy Attachment
*Even children who are experiencing attachment strain may have some of
these signs of healthy attachment. Knowledge of positive attachment
will help parents build on the areas that are strengths, but should
not be used to ignore indications—even mild ones--that a baby/child is
experiencing difficulty.

Joyful the majority of the time.
Seeks out primary caregiver for comfort and to meet needs.**Even moreso now.
Likes to be cradled and held facing primary caregiver.
Makes good eye contact with primary caregiver and initiates eye
contact--both close & distant proximity.**Even moreso now.
When primary caregiver makes eye contact, the child smiles back,
showing signs of being happy with the interaction.
Smiles and exhibits pleasure when seeing self in the mirror.
Frequently engages in playful interactions with primary caregiver
(interactions initiated by both parent and child.)
Uses different cries to alert primary caregiver of needs and wants;
easily consoled by primary caregiver.
Accepts limits placed by primary caregiver.
Willingly allows primary caregiver to hold bottle, hand feed, and
nurture.
Melts into primary caregiver when held; lays head on shoulder; holds
on when held; faces primary caregiver rather than away.
Enjoys cuddling, hugs, and kisses given by primary caregiver and
initiates cuddling, hugs, and kisses without wanting something in
return.
Can co-sleep without major difficulty.
Prefers primary caregiver to all others.
Imitates primary caregiver regularly (actions, language, etc.)
Content to sit on primary caregiver's lap or stay in primary
caregiver's arms for an age appropriate amount of time.
Settles quickly when held by primary caregiver.
Enjoys skin on skin contact.
Prefers close proximity to primary caregiver but not in an anxious,
desperate way.
Consistently sleeps well and peacefully.
Wants to please primary caregiver because he knows it will make his
parent happy.
Reacts appropriately to pain; wants primary caregiver to nurture him
when in pain or sick; easily consoled.
Uses food appropriately. Recognizes when hungry and full.
Shows true personality to primary caregiver and family and friends
(discovering a child's innate personality takes time.)** This one has definitely changed over time- we thought we were seeing the true personality after a month home, then two months we thought that again...but now, we know he is truly himself as he has not changed again!
Initiates "sweet nothing" talk with primary caregiver.
Shows appropriate stranger anxiety.
Displays age appropriate anxiety at brief separation from primary
caregiver but is able to be reassured.
Reunites happily with primary caregiver with eye contact and physical
contact.
Show signs of feeling safe in social situations; able to play and
interact with others, but stays close and checks in with primary
caregiver regularly but not in an anxious or desperate way.**Again, this one has changed. We thought he was doing this, but it is MUCH different and better now.
Is gentle to self and others.
Gets along with other children & siblings most of the time.
Is okay with primary caregiver leaving the room for short periods of
time. Conversely, cares that primary caregiver has left the room and
shows happiness when that person returns.
Speech/language skills are developing appropriately.
Angry outbursts/tantrums are infrequent, short in duration. Parent can
soothe child.
"Normal" discipline methods/parenting techniques are effective.
Child can identify his own feelings (at an age appropriate level.)
Child can identify the feelings of others (at an age appropriate level.)
Child can delay gratification (at an age appropriate level.)

-A4everFamily in consultation with Kali Miller, PhD

Code:

Red- Esias does this all the time

Orange- Esias does this most of the time

Blue- Esias does this none of the time

Black- Not age appropriate for Esias

I think for the first couple of months home, I was just so nervous about attachment, that I was thinking about it all the time and worrying about it, to be honest. But now being 8 months out, I realize that attachment and bonding are something that happen over time, with baby steps. He was learning to trust us, and we were learning who he was. It is different than biological children, but similar too. The feelings, the committment, the love is the same; it's just that he comes with some extra things we need to consider because he had a rough start.

We are so very thankful that God placed him in our home and our hearts. He fits our family perfectly and I can't remember my life before this precious child occupied my heart.

Quite Ellyquent, Part 21

Yesterday, Elly had a field trip with her class to the post office. She was telling me about it as we drove to pick up Eden from school.

"There was a lady there and she said, 'If there is ever a problem, I'm the one you call.' So, if we ever have a problem, we need to call her. But I don't have her number!"

Mommy & Me

Sick of snow. That's all.

Trash Talkin' with Marcus

Translation: You wanna break my knee, well bring it on!

Chugga Chugga Chugga Choo Choo!

Esias and big sis reading together- don't ask why he's sitting on the couch and has an empty pop cup in his hand...no idea :)

Momma and Zi reading together too.

And now the trains! This boy is train-crazy. Traizy.

He pushes them til they fall off the track...

Then signs "food" to me, which means "I want" or "help" in Esias Speak.

Now he's frustrated at me for taking pics instead of righting his train.

All better.

Hop inside the ring!

And a little naked train play! Always time to play trains!

Orphan

A few days ago something very simple happened at our house. Esias picked up a baby doll, put it on his shoulder and rocked it. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. When my girls did this at this age I thought it was adorable. But when Zi Zi did this, I wanted to cry. My son, who laid in a bed hour after hour, month after month, not understanding the concept of a mother and child, or father and child...now here he stood beside me hugging a baby doll to his chest, rocking, patting, comforting. He knows parents now. He is no longer an orphan! Praise God.

Tonight another mini-miracle occurred. We took the kids to the play area at the mall to let them run off some steam. Now, a weird thing happens when God places a people on your heart. When God put Ethiopia on our hearts, we began to notice people who looked Ethiopian at church, at the mall, etc. Tonight, at the play area, we saw two very East African looking boys (beautiful, beautiful boys). We scanned the parents sitting around to see if there were other adoptive parents around. Hmmm. Suddenly, a little ways away we saw a woman who also looked East African. Dan is brave, so he scooped up Esias and approached the woman. The conversation went something like this:
Dan: Are those your boys?
Woman: Yes...
Dan: Are you from...Ethiopia?
Woman: No, but I am from a region near there.
Dan: What region are you from?
Woman: Eritrea. Is he [pointing to Esias] from Ethiopia?
Dan: Yes, we adopted him.
[at this point I can over and introduced myself to her as well. Her name is Abeba. I told her how much we enjoyed being over in Ethiopia]
Woman: I appreciate what you guys have done because I grew up as an orphan.
Shadley: Did you live in an orphanage? Or with family?
Woman: In an orphanage.
Shadley: Wow...
Woman: God bless you for what you're doing for this boy.
Shadley: God bless YOU for all you've been through!

It was just the most amazing conversation. Sometime I like to forget or pretend that Esias would have been ok without us...but the reality was he was an orphan. He is NO LONGER an orphan, he is my son. My beautiful, incredible, wonderful son.

Answered Prayer!

I got a job! Well it's not a job-job but it works perfectly for me! I am going to be doing daycare again part-time for a family I know from church. I have really high hopes that it will work out great and be a blessing for both our families! The kids I will be watching are nearly the same age as Elly and Esias...how perfect. About 20-22 hours a week.

We were already stretched with our adoption expenses and then the medical bills came in...you get the idea. I needed a job! And this will allow me to contribute some income without having to pay someone to watch my kids. I am so blessed to be able to stay home and this will allow me to continue doing it. I also get to watch Marcus my sweetie poo nephew two afternoons a week, so it will be like party time at the Grimes House!

Quite Ellyquent, Part 20

Dan gave Eden 2 Flintstone vitamins and Elly 1 Flintstone vitamin. (this is starting to sound like a word problem from 4th grade math) They both looked down at their hands and Eden said, "I have Pebbles and Dino!" Elly piped up, "I have eczema and Dino!"

The other day, Elly was on my lap. Scratch that, every day Elly is on my lap. This particular day she was kissing me and kissing me and kissing me. I said, "Wow, you're a kisser today" or something like that, and she said, "Yeah, I'm the Bachelor."